Guten Tag, Reader,

How often do you get what you want?

How often do you ask for what you want?

How often do you NOT ask for what you want?

Don’t just read on. Actually, think about it. Then, do it again and replace the want with need.

How often do you ask for what you need?

How often do you not?

And here is another question: How often do you know (or not) what you need?

Do you ever check in with your Self, your body, your nervous system, your soul and ask them: “Honey, what do you need right now?”

There was a time when I didn’t know the answer to these last two. I didn’t know what I wanted or needed, and I didn’t even know that asking oneself the question was a thing people did. I was busy figuring out what other people needed and how I might help them get it (not that they asked for my help, mind you).

From my work with midlife women and conversations with friends, I know this issue is not unique to me. “None of us are uniquely f*cked,” as a friend likes to remind me.

Caring about kids while starting to worry about aging parents, planning healthy meals while beginning to worry about enough money for retirement, pets, neighbors, church, political activism, loved ones struggling with addiction…

Women tend to put other’s needs first. Part of that is hormonal (which is why many of us are confronted with the “What the hell do I even want?” question when we enter perimenopause). The other part is the patriarchal systems we were raised in.

🦩 Here is an invitation for this week:

Begin your day with a little check-in:

• What do your body, your nervous system, and your Self with a capital S need?
• Who can you ask for help to fulfill this need?*
• And then, practice asking.

You may need to go Rogue for a week.

Let me tell you, the women on last year’s Salmon River Slowdown became experts at asking for what they needed within the first two days:

“Could you help me carry this bag up the beach?”

“Can you make a fire in the mornings?”

“Can you help me pitch my tent?”

“Could you row backward through the rapids so that we stay dry and warm?”

“I will stay on the beach and not join the group on this side expedition.”

It was beautiful to watch it unfold.

Please check in with your Self and ask if you need a week in the wild with eight other badass women.

A week to unplug from the relentless demands on your time and energy.

A nervous system reset.

An opportunity to tap into your true Nature. Your inner wisdom. Your wildest dreams.

If you want to join, what do you need to claim your space?

Are your own stories and limiting beliefs holding you back?

Can you step out of those shackles?

If you are curious about joining, please reach out, and I will send you a special invitation.

Whether I will see you on the river or not, I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend.

Always on your side, truly,

*Remember, don’t go to the hardware store for bread. If the person you would like to support you has proven in the past that they can’t, or simply won’t, extend your mycelium network.

p.s. If you got something from today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, so I put much work into it. You can leave me a tip here.