Guten Tag, Reader,

Before I begin with this week's letter, I have a favor to ask:

2024 Email Advent Calendar Poll

Since 2020, I have been sending out an email advent calendar each December. I am currently working on this year's and would love to hear what YOU would enjoy:

If you've never been an advent calendar recipient and the thought of getting a daily email freaks you out, don't worry. I won't send it to you without you telling me to.

And now on with scheduled programming:

Sometimes, dropping the anchor and watching the river go by is an excellent choice. True, usually, I am all about going with the flow and following the river to where it melds with all the world’s rivers and becomes the ocean. Which is another way of saying we are all headed to the burial grounds, as The Decemberists put it.

As the rower of our boat, I often drop the anchor so my husband, the flyfisher, can spend some time on a promising feature, like a swift run or a deep hole. I use the time to have lunch, read, write, wander about, or harvest tea plants.

Last Monday, I decided not to use the time at all. To look, instead. I watched the anchor at the bottom of the river. I felt the water flow past the bottom of the boat and how it wanted to take us with it.

I wished I could drop an anchor in time and watch everything rush past while I enjoy a beautiful moment.

And then it occurred to me that I can.

Time cannot be stopped. You can.

We cannot alter the flow of time, and if I have learned anything from watching Star Trek, messing with time is generally not a good idea. Either shit blows up, or red-uniformed people get trapped in the 60s—or both.

We can pause the flow of us, and if I have learned anything from being in nature, pausing is integral to natural rhythms, even necessary for survival. Animals and plants slow down for all kinds of harsh conditions (drought, frost, heat…).

Our brilliant human brains have developed ways around inclement weather (light bulbs, furnaces, air conditioning, insulated roofs…). Our bodies still remember that we are supposed to slow down in the winter. We have just been socialized to ignore the signs.

So, let’s look at why YOU would want to drop an anchor in time.

Well, either because you don’t want a moment to end or because you feel tossed around by the current and need to get your oars back straight.

What harsh conditions would be easier to navigate if you took a moment to read the water? When is a good time to throw your anchor?

• Before you answer your mom’s call, that’s coming (again) at a time you told her doesn’t work for you?
• When you check your phone in the morning and see 167 new unread emails in your inbox?
• While your inner Pop Culture Happy Hour panelist rips apart the novel you haven’t even started writing yet?

I am serious: Write them down right now. And keep in mind one of my favorite river guide quotes:

And what warrants an anchor to make the moment longer?

• Floating down the Blackfoot River on a colorful fall day? Certainly.
• Unboxing the author’s copies of your first published book? I expect it will.
• Finding $20 in your winter coat? It might.

Anchors come in different shapes and weights.

And what might your anchor look like that will allow you to stop, look ahead, read the water, and ensure you are set up to row down smoothly from here?

And yes, those same anchors can make a joyful, pleasant moment feel much longer:

1. Take one (or as many as you want) deep box breaths: inhale for five, hold for five, out for five, hold for five
2. Come to your senses: Notice three things you can hear, smell, touch, taste, see
3. Scan your body and give it what it’s asking for: a change in position, a stretch, some movement, a laydown, a nap
4. Take a mental photo: Try to notice as many details as possible and intentionally save it onto the hard drive between your eyes
5. Do absolutely nothing for as long as possible. Nothing. Nichts. Nada.

What’s YOUR anchor? Let me know because I’d happily share it with the community next time. Hit ‘reply’ and let me know your anchor moments, too.

No anchor going to slow down what you have going on?

If no anchor in the world seems to hold in your midlife hustle,

if anchors are fine but it feels like you’re going down the wrong river entirely,

if everything you’ve been reading in these letters makes total sense but you can’t seem to find a way to apply anything to your life »> let’s chat.

You may be ready to give Wayfinder Coaching a try.

The Meet-The-Coach call is free, and we might already come up with a plan for you to become the captain of your own damn ship again. You can find a space on my calendar here: https://calendly.com/d/cqjx-92w-kc6/meet-the-coach

I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend.

No anchor going to slow down what you have going on?

If no anchor in the world seems to hold in your midlife hustle,

if anchors are fine but it feels like you’re going down the wrong river entirely,

if everything you’ve been reading in these letters makes total sense but you can’t seem to find a way to apply anything to your life >>> let’s chat.

You may be ready to give Wayfinder Coaching a try.

The Meet-The-Coach call is free, and we might already come up with a plan for you to become the captain of your own damn ship again. You can find a space on my calendar here: https://calendly.com/d/cqjx-92w-kc6/meet-the-coach​

Whether I see you on Zoom or not, I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend.

Always on your side, truly,

p.s. If you got something from today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, so I put much work into it. You can leave me a tip here.

p.p.s.: If you want more of me than a letter every other week, you might enjoy hanging out with me on social media:

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