I am a recovering perfectionist, productivity chaser, and people pleaser, coaching women to disrupt old thought patterns, let go of behaviors that keep them stuck, and make their joy an everyday priority.
🐦⬛ Soul Goal. I Know You Have One 🐦⬛
Guten Tag, Reader, Over in the Midlife Wilderness Expeditions, I wrote the participants a real honest email this week. I told them I feared they would shove the material I had taken days to create to the back of their junk drawers and that I might never see them again. I shared that in all my years as a coach and even more years as a sponsor in my 12-Step Program, I have lost most people at the stage they were entering in our adventure: The action stage. You see, the dreaming and scheming phases are fun and exciting. Because you can't really do that wrong. Nobody will judge for your wildest, most improbable goals as long as they remain on your vision board. I mean, your partner might wonder why you have images of the Danish National Soccer Team up there. Still, they might not be too worried until you take the first steps to learning Danish. Even the climbing-out-of-the-rubble phase (whether that's the remnants of an alcoholic relationship, a lost job, or a devastating diagnosis) is simple, as there is really only one way out of the abyss. But this phase, the action and commitment phase, is freaking people out. Because there is no guaranteed outcome.
Listen, I have made it clear that I am not the kind of coach who pushes clients to never stop setting and reaching goals for hustle's sake. In fact, as I am writing this, I realize that my clients start thriving when they stop chasing more for more's sake. And then… There are goals for soul's sake.These goals call you towards what is uniquely You: Your values, skills, and dreams, not towards some external measure of success. Guiding women toward their Soul Goals is one of mine. Seeing the look in their eyes or feeling the energy over the Zoom line when they are finally clear about theirs – that's my measure of success. And then… The stakes are so much higher for a Soul Goal.It's easy for the Mindset Bros on Instagram (OMG, why are there soooo many of them) to glorify failure as part of the hustle. They are not dealing with Soul Goals but capitalist culture's superficial bullshit goals over there. Soul Goals are tender, fragile, and deeply connected to the Self. It's not something one can imagine failing at. But you know what: The only way to fail with 100% certainty is to never get started. That is why taking action is urgent. Because it IS so scary. Let's get to work on your Soul Goal.
Please let's chat. You can reply to this email or book a free meet-the-coach call. I'd love to show you how to identify and move towards your unique, precious Soul Goal. We can still start this year. Oh, and if one of your Soul Goals is to go on a Women's River Retreat with me and Angie Stegall, we have exciting news to share soon. For now, I'm just going to drop this here: Reminder: The 2024 Email Advent Calendar is Coming UpAnd it might just help you reveal your Soul Goal. If you have received a previous email advent calendar, you don't have to do anything. If you aren't sure, let me know, and I will be happy to check and get you in. If you want in or share with a friend, please head this way: https://letters.mrslaine.com/advent-calendar-2024 I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend. Always on your side, truly, p.s. If you got something from today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, so I put much work into it. You can leave me a tip here. p.p.s.: If you want more of me than a letter every other week, you might enjoy hanging out with me on social media: |
Welcome to my Joy Letters
I am a recovering perfectionist, productivity chaser, and people pleaser, coaching women to disrupt old thought patterns, let go of behaviors that keep them stuck, and make their joy an everyday priority.
Guten Tag, Reader, You know the sound of a bird banging against a window. Maybe you’ve even had to help out (or bury) a bird who mistook glass for air. Mostly a benign magic—invisible walls—yet dangerous for the uninitiated. When my friends and I heard the sound yesterday, we were outside while the bird was inside the house. Such a human concept, inside/outside. I am currently at a friend‘s farmhouse in Northeastern Germany, the Wendland. She lives alone in a 170-year-old farmhouse. The old...
Guten Tag, Reader, One of us walks like a cartoon thief—knee high, toe first, then heel. Of course, he might also practice a Qi Gong movement. Called The Heron, perhaps? Another walks with a sway while swinging a flappy spruce branch. “I watched my nephew do this last week,” she will share later, “and he looked so connected with his body that I wanted to try.” Me? I walk as slowly as my brain will allow. Stopping to pull a fresh leaf to my cheek, smell each wild onion in a patch, and caress...
Guten Tag, Reader, “Die hat doch einen Vogel,” they say in Germany, “She has a bird,” when someone talks or acts a little off. As if that’s a bad thing. The bird. Or the off-ness. Not in my book. The one that I am writing in my head. Where the birds live. And where they peep. Peep. Peep. Peep. April also has a bird. "April, April, does what it will," the Germans say. Sometimes, the Germans are specific about the kind of bird—a chickadee (‘ne Meise). And those have been chickad-ing and dee-ing...