I am a recovering perfectionist, productivity chaser, and people pleaser, coaching women to disrupt old thought patterns, let go of behaviors that keep them stuck, and make their joy an everyday priority.
🦩 vorfreude 🦩
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Guten Tag, Reader, The German word Vorfreude roughly translates into pre-joy, and I just felt it tingling through my body, walking through downtown Missoula on a Saturday morning and anticipating the pastry case at Morningbirds Bakery. In my mind, I could taste the cinnamon roll; I felt the spongy texture in my mouth, and I imagined licking the sticky icing off my fingers. In that moment, I wasn't thinking about my to-do list or worrying about my local public radio station. My thoughts had moved from left-brained anxiety to right-brained wordless imagination.* This summer feels like a perpetual state of Vorfreude, as I am currently preparing for the second of three weeklong river adventures.** The first took my husband and me on the Smith River in central Montana. This second one will take 13 people, some of whom have never met, on the Snake River through Hells Canyon. There is a lot of prepping and coordination involved if you are not going with an outfitter. Who is bringing the stove? How much coffee will we need in the morning, and who'll be making it? Who has a groover, and where can we empty it after the trip?*** It can feel stressful at times. Anxiety can arise about not forgetting the spatula (admittedly workaroundable) or my favorite snacks (which might sound workaroundable for some of you, but others will get it, and let me know if you do). When I catch anxiety rising, I intentionally pull myself back into Vorfreude.About one moment, specifically. My favorite moment of each river adventure, whether it's three weeks down the Grand Canyon or an afternoon on the local Clark Fork. The moment when I push the boat off the ramp and the current catches it. I always take a moment to look around and to (re-)introduce myself to the river (especially one that hasn't shared a bit of its journey towards the ocean with me before).”*** “Hi, I am Sylke, the one you've never met. Although considering the circular life of water, I've probably met parts of you. As a turquoise mountain lake, perhaps, of which particles evaporated on a hot summer day, or perhaps as clouds overhead, puffy white or looming gray. Anyway, I am excited to get to know you better, your waves and shores, your eddies and rapids." Okay, I am actually not THAT wordy with each river, but the sentiments of kinship, circularity, and uniqueness are exchanged in an energetic way I have no words to explain. And then the river takes us downstream. We become part of the landscape, the soundscape, the soulscape.**** For those days on the river, we know exactly where we are going and when we will get there. We know what we will wear (nothing we didn't pack), what we will eat (ditto), and what we will do. A rare reprieve from decision fatigue. No cell phones. No email. No calendars. A much-needed pause from information overload. My friend recently put it this way, “My brain can take a break because my senses and instincts have permission to run the business of living for a week." Exactly. Which leads me to the third weeklong river adventure of the year: wildHERSept 14-20 on the Rogue River in Western Oregon. I am filled with Vorfreude about reintroducing myself to that body of water.***** Or to the women who are returning participants of last year's Salmon River Slowdown (and I know, because they tell me, that they are not the same women who pushed off the ramp last summer). Fill your life with Vorfreude, too. The pre-joy of knowing that your brain will have permission to take a break from hustle, calendars, emails, commitments, demands, rules, news, calls, texts, notifications… You know what I mean. All the detractions from the gloriousness of midlife. Wash them off. Let the river take them to the ocean. To be diluted into their rightful irrelevance. Can you feel the river calling? Follow this link to meet it. I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend. Always on your side, truly, *Something we talked extensively about during my Midlife Mischief Mini Experiment, which I will tell you more about in a couple of weeks. **Also, a perpetual state of gratitude for past Me, who built a life and acquired the skills to make it possible for me to say “yes, please” to three river trips in one summer. ***If you don’t know what a groover is, search for it online (and may I suggest using Ecosia rather than feeding the Google machine). **Auto-correct thinks soul’s ape is a more reasonable phrase than soulscape, and I will just leave that here for you to ponder. *****The last time the Rogue and I met was over my birthday in September 2020. Color me a perfect example of Heraclitus’ notion that ‘no woman ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and she’s not the same woman.’ p.s. If you found something valuable in today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, which means a lot of creativity goes into it. You can leave a tip for me here. |
Welcome to my Joy Letters
I am a recovering perfectionist, productivity chaser, and people pleaser, coaching women to disrupt old thought patterns, let go of behaviors that keep them stuck, and make their joy an everyday priority.
Guten Tag, Reader, My thoughts were lulled into a rare state of quietude by the sounds of crickets and my steps on the gravel trail. The scent of summer pine. The heat of the afternoon on my face. Until a shriek unlulled me—pulled my eyes to the sky. One of my favorite shows to watch had come on: “Chasing Hawks,” played out by two chickadees harassing a red-tailed hawk. It never looks strategic (or smart) on the little birds’ part, diving, circling, fluttering, darting. Maybe that’s what...
Guten Tag, Reader, A few things before we get into the thrill of making life-impacting decisions: 🌿 July Moss Hour is coming up on July 7th. Join me on Zoom for a grounding gathering to start the month. 🛶 When was the last time you felt truly wild? Untamed? Fully You? If you have trouble answering (these or any of the questions down the letter), join us on the wildHER Rogue River Adventure. And now on to this week's letter: “I am not going to use this,” I mumbled to myself. “It is too banal,”...
Guten Tag, Reader, I am just getting off the river as this hits your inbox, so I am sharing a letter from two years ago that has not lost any of its relevance. Two things before you get to read that gem, though: Moss Hour, my virtual Forest Bathing Gathering formerly known as "Backyard Baths," is happening on July 7. I'd love it if you dropped in. The Solstice is nearing, and if you are in Missoula, please join me at Waterworks Hill for a Mindful Saunter on June 20, 6-7:30 p.m. The details...