My Practical Answer on How to Balance the Must-Do’s and the Want-To-Do’s ⚖️


Howdy, Hallo, Hola Reader,

Here is a glimpse of a daily discussion (one might go as far as calling it a heated argument) amongst the committee in my brain:

🧟‍♀️ I have to update my website!

🦩 But I want to go for a walk!

🧟‍♀️ Okay, but first, I have to write my piece for the writing class!

🦩 But I'd rather write my newsletter!

🧟‍♀️ Okay, but first, you have to call the doctor about your colonoscopy results!

😈 How about we scroll Instagram for a bit?

🦩🧟‍♀️ YESSSS…

It's the discussion between joy and reason. And when they cannot agree, both lose.

See, not even I can let joy win all the time, as much as I want to. Nor can I let reason take over my life. That's not only boring but also detrimental to my physical well-being. Ask me how I know.

How do I find that balance, then, between the must-dos and the want-to-dos? Here is the very practical answer I gave when somebody asked me that question this week:

  1. Every morning as I journal, I have a ton of new ideas. I park them in a special notebook - my sparkle list ✨(I used to believe that I wouldn't forget really great ideas, but my menopausal brain proved me wrong on that).
  2. In my daily journal, I keep a list of eventual "must-dos." For my coaching practice, it contains items like updating my Facebook business page, re-thinking my 1:1 coaching containers and pricing, and researching keywords for search engine optimization... Easy to see why joy would "forget" about those if I didn't write them down.
  3. I use (my version of) the Ivy Lee method to choose no more than six tasks for each day, and I make sure to sprinkle items from both lists among those tasks. I actually use my daily tarot card to help inform what goes on the list (pretty sure old Mr. Ivy Lee would disapprove 🙂). What doesn't get done goes back on the list the next day. At some point, I get bored by seeing it there, and I either do it or scratch it off the list completely.
  4. When I have time and energy left over at the end of the day, I go back to the sparkle list and pick something.

Two more tips that work for my brain:

  • I use washi tape, colored inks, and stickers to charm myself into sitting down with my journal every morning. Joy matters.
  • I don't call it planning or making a to-do list. I tell my brain we are creating a daily menu, a kaleidoscope of options, a gaggle of activities. Words matter. Just try it.

Here are today’s invitations for reflection:

🦩 In your life, who wins when joy and reason cannot agree?

🦩 How might you facilitate a compromise between them?

🦩 What might balance between the must-dos and the want-to-dos look like for you this coming week?

Asking For Your Feedback

The 50th issue of this newsletter is coming up soon. Joy and I have been making some time to think about this milestone. So far, I've been pretty much writing about whatever is interesting to me at the time.

And you've been opening these letters at a spectacular rate that would make any high-paid marketing executive envious.

So while I don't intend to change much, I am very curious about you and what you'd love to read more about (either in this newsletter or if I were to start a blog again).

I created this quick form over here. Thanks so much in advance.

The 2022 Email Advent Calendar

Most of you are here because you signed up for a previous edition and don't have to do anything. You will automatically receive your first email on December 1st.

However, if you are curious about what's coming this year or have no idea what I am talking about, come this way for your invitation to my haiku(-ish) holiday party.


Thanks for reading and being here,

p.s. I wrote more about my morning rituals a few months ago. If you missed it (or forgot), it's here.

Welcome to my Joy Letters

I am a recovering perfectionist, productivity chaser, and people pleaser, coaching women to disrupt old thought patterns, let go of behaviors that keep them stuck, and make their joy an everyday priority.

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