Guten Tag, Reader,

Bitten

;tldr: Regulating your nervous system is an essential mental health skill. For a nervous system reset, join me and fellow Nature Therapy Guide Angie on the Rogue River in September.

Okay, remember how I wrote about asking what we need last time?

I want to tell you that the universe will always reward you for doing so. Alas, that’s not this week’s story.

Or is it?

Let’s start at the beginning.

This is Chevy. He’s been our foster dog since late January. It’s been great having a dog around. And he’s had a rough life and needs A LOT of attention, care, and training.

So I asked myself for and granted myself a dog-free walk. Just me, my friend from Germany, on our weekly phone call, the blue sky and crunchy snow underneath my feet.

Well, and other people’s dogs roaming, as usual, off-leash on a clearly marked on-leash trail. I’ve learned to not let it bother me much anymore. Unless their dogs run up to me, circle me, jump up on me, step on my feet…

Deep breath. In. Out.

And then their handlers laugh it off. “Silly dog,” they say. And some version of, “Don’t worry, my dog is really friendly.”

Deep breath. In. Out.

However, this letter is not about one of those dog owners in general. It’s not even about a particular dog owner and his pack of two–one leashed, one off. It’s not about his off-leash dog snarling and barking at me or the owner’s lack of control.

Deep breath. In. Out.

It’s not about the bite in my butt (by the leashed dog, btw). The visit to NowCare or the prophylactic antibiotics.

Deep breath. In. Out.

This letter is about the Autonomic Nervous System.

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) constantly processes sensory information, scanning for threats and making judgments about safety or danger. This process is called neuroception and sends commands to your body before your conscious brain can weigh in.

According to Polyvagal Theory, the ANS has three states that developed at different evolutionary times.

Immobilized (or Dorsal Vagal)

• Low heart rate, low muscle tone, low energy
• This is the “rest & digest” state when you feel safe.
• When your system has detected a threat, this is the “freeze & fawn” state. This feels like it’s all too much, and you just want to pull a blanket over your head.

Mobilized (or Sympathetic Vagal)

• Increased heart rate, blood pressure, and hormone flow. Increased muscle tone.
• This is an energetic, active, and motivated state when you feel safe.
• When your system has detected a threat, this is the “fight or flight” state. You might be stressed, fearful, and want to run away to Canada or punch somebody. (Or, if you are a dog, you might bite a random lady in the butt).

Relaxed (or Ventral Vagal)

• Regular heart rate or muscle tone.
• This is a state of connection, curiosity, creativity, and hope.

Another factor in Polyvagal Theory is co-regulation.

Naturally and unconsciously, we send signals of safety and danger to each other.

If you live in the USA, you might see how this all relates to our political scene. And how important it is that each of us learns to intentionally regulate our nervous system so that we can act in a mobilized state and connect in a relaxed state.

But let me come back to the trail for a moment.

The two dogs, their owner, and I were co-regulating each other from relaxed to fight in milliseconds. Once one of the dogs started barking and snarling, the owner and the other dog detected a threat, and once I realized that the owner had no control of the situation, I went down with them.

I can feel my heart rate accelerate as I remember the scene. And that’s where trauma can come in and keep us stuck in a state of heightened alert.

Luckily, I know about my nervous system.

• I could tell how much the experience sent me into freeze or flight states the days after.
• I know how to regulate (move when I want to freeze, breathe when I want to run) and how to create a pause to give my brain a chance to process and realize that the threat is over.
• I knew I needed help and asked for a special session with a dog trainer (in which we never even worked with the dog).

Listen, you can tell that I am super passionate about Polyvagal Theory. I teach all my Midlife Wilderness Expedition participants about it and give them practical examples of how to intentionally regulate.

Here's a treat for you: Download the document I send the MWE participants: MWE-Spring-Excerpt-NervousSystemRegulation.pdf​

I have so much more to say, and if you want me to, let me know by replying. I will also put some resources in the post script below.

Go Rogue, so your nervous system doesn't go rogue on you.

If you could use a whole nervous system reset, and let’s be honest, which midlife woman could not, please join Angie and me on the wildHER Rogue River Adventure.

​The website is here, but please reach out if you have questions or concerns.

Whether I will see you on the river or not, I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend.

Always on your side, truly,

Here are some more resources for you:

Website: Polyvagal Institute​

Book: Anchored by Deb Dana​

Podcast Episode: Calm News on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. Not so much about the theory but the importance of regulating your system while staying informed.

p.s. If you got something from today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, which means a lot of creative goes into it. You can leave me a tip here.