Guten Tag, Reader,

It’s not often that I get as many reactions to a letter as the previous one. You hit reply, put money in my tip jar, and booked coaching sessions.

Here are just a few of your responses:

You motivated me to update a resource I haven't talked about in a long time.

DO LESS. BE MORE. (Previously called How To Start Wasting Time and Be Less Productive). Download it here: do-less-be-more-sylke-laine.pdf​ ​ To share with friends, please send them here.

And because that’s how the universe works, once our collective attention went to the theme of time, I heard podcast episodes about it, people recommended books, and other people wrote about time in their publications.

(I will drop some of those sparkles in the bottom ⬇️).

Two factors strain our relationship with time:

1. We know that we only have a limited amount before we die (about 4,000 weeks).
2. We fear we aren’t spending the amount we have wisely (effectively, purposefully, intentionally).

Those two factors come together when we put too many things on our plates (or allow others to put things there) and only allow ourselves to rest, play, write, make art,… at some magical time when those plates are clean and stowed away in the imaginary cupboard of dispensable time.

Let me repeat for those parts of your brain in the back:

1. Time-sucking activities don’t just appear on our plates. They are either put there by us (intentionally or on autopilot) or by others (with or without our knowledge and consent). In either case, time is not to blame.
2. Within the systems that our culture has put in place for adults (and teenagers), our plates are never clear of things we should be doing or worrying about. If we keep waiting for that moment, we will never get around to spending any of our time with activities we love (and which might be deemed frivolous and unproductive by our culture).

“That’s all great, Sylke, but what do we do?”

Two things to change (but really only one) that can improve our relationship with time:

1. Become aware of how you think and what you believe about time. Think of your relationship with time as a relationship with a good friend. You don’t focus on what you don’t like about your friends, about what they lack. You aren’t constantly demanding that they give you more of themselves. (And if you do, we should definitely talk.) Shift your attention to notice when you DO have time and all the things time allows you to do and be.
2. Protect time from unreasonable demands by yourself and others. Accept that you cannot do it all and intentionally choose what you do (seek joy’s council rather than fear’s). Be willing to be mediocre at many tasks and store dirty plates in the to-do cupboard.

You see, the only thing you can change for things to change is you. Time will flow happily along. And other people will keep demanding their share of yours.

It is time for you to reclaim authority over and responsibility for your share of time on this earth in this body.

For now, here are some past letters I sent out over the years, which might help you get started:

​Say What? Say No!​

​My Practical Answer on How to Balance the Must-Do’s and the Want-To-Do’s​

​How Do You Spend Your Mornings? Does It Anchor You in Your Day?​

And here are a few resources I spent some time with since the last letter:

​NPR Life Kit: You can’t control time, but you can change your relationship with the clock​

​Ness Labs: Time Anxiety. Is it too late?​

​Saving Time: Discovering a Life Beyond Productivity Culture​

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Teaching my clients how to turn around their limiting beliefs about time (or money, creativity, relationships) is my favorite way to watch them flourish. Ready to start? Hesitant about coaching? You can book a meet-the-coach call here or start by hitting reply.

I will see you back here in two weeks. If you liked this letter, please forward it to a friend.

Always on your side, truly,

p.s. If you got something from today's letter, why not buy me a coffee? I am keeping my writing AI-free, so I put much work into it. You can leave me a tip here.